Cath Sheard Art

Author: Catherine Barker-Sheard

  • Gastroscopy time #BlogJune 28

    Tomorrow I’m having a gastroscopy to check if the ulcer that caused my perforated bowel back in April has fully healed yet. The surgeon who repaired the leak will be doing the procedure, which I’m grateful for.

    He’s patient and professional, and happy for me to listen to Pink on my phone while he works. The music helps me zone out, because having a camera shoved up your nose and down into your stomach without sedation isn’t much fun.

    Last time I had it done, in 2017, there was a medical misadventure that ended with me on life support due to Aspiration Pneumonia. The photo below is the immediate aftermath. That blog post is here https://cathsheard.wordpress.com/2017/05/07/hospital-dramas/. We’re all determined this time will be drama-free! I’m hoping the ulcer has completely healed, so fingers crossed.

    2017 – in ICU recovering from aspiration pneumonia

  • A safe place #BlogJune 27

    My art journals are somewhere to download the thoughts in my head without fear of judgement. The pages don’t have to make sense, be pretty or be “art”. They just have to feel right to me.

    I use a very intuitive process in my journals, just as I do in my artworks. For me it’s as much about the doing, as the result … it’s more about process than anything else.

    Tonight I’ve finished a small black Dylusions journal. I used lots of Dylusions Shimmer paint and Shimmer spray, shaped the page edges and cut peep holes, and generally had fun. I love the final result.

  • It’s going to be ok #BlogJune 26

    Tony came home for about 5 hours today, and we had a visit from his good friends Doris and Dan, and his brother Roger. The photo is an older one, when we met up with Doris & Dan in Hamilton.

    We sorted all his clothes and labelled them – I have a pile to wash and take to the Op Shop. We have his funeral clothes chosen and put aside. He’s picked what ornaments etc he wants, things with special memories, and we’ve put them in his room. His new duvet is on his bed, and I’ve got a cork board to go on the wall so he can put photos up. The room is looking like his now.

    Having Tony home was good, but also a bit stressful. I guess it’ll get easier over time? It reinforced how fragile his current relative wellness is, and how easily it could be unsettled. Still, while he can come home it’s nice for us to spend time together at the weekends – we need to make the most of these pockets of time together.

  • Offering love and support #BlogJune 25

    Today a group who use hate speech won the right, through the courts, to hold meetings in public venues run by local government in two NZ cities. I refuse to name them or give them any extra publicity. At a time when NZ is talking about hate speech, I am horrified at the message the court has sent. These TERFs (trans exclusionary radical feminists) should not be allowed this platform for their hate speech and violence.

    As a librarian with almost 30 years experience I know the power of libraries a safe place for everyone. As a librarian, I have many peers around the country who are ‘all manner of rainbow’ and I value them as fellow professionals and thoroughly lovely people. As an artist, it’s the same thing – rainbow friends whose skills and talent I admire.

    Then there’s me; white, middle class, ordinary – with a very rainbow family including a transgender great-nibling. When TERFs speak their hate they are talking about my family. It’s personal and it makes me angry. Incandescent with rage really.

    What I don’t understand is their seemingly endless obsessive fascination with what other people’s have in their undies. I mean seriously! I don’t go through my day wondering if the people around me have a chest and penis, breasts and vagina, or some other mix. Who cares? Unless you’re looking for sexual contact, how is it any of your business?

    This has been a terribly hard week for the transgender community for lots of reasons, so I’m sending love and support.

  • It had to happen #BlogJune 24

    I woke up this morning with a scratchy throat, feeling dreadful. I sent my boss a text and went back to sleep until 11am. Do I have a cold or COVID? No. As I said to Fiona, I think it was just that I’d been away and had to trust things were ok, came back and saw for myself that Tony is doing well, got a few things sorted and then – with the pressure off – my body said stop! The reality is I’ve been living on my nerves, and little unbroken sleep, for probably a year.

    I’m immensely grateful I was away when he went into permanent care and, as much as it hurts my heart, I can see how much better he is with 24/7 professional care. The picture below is Tony with a Puzzli puzzle I got him; I thought it would keep him busy for days … he was finished it in 3 hours.