Author: Catherine Barker-Sheard

As I look back at 2020 I know we’ve never had another year like it, certainly in my lifetime. I won’t go into the Covid saga, other than to say we worked hard at staying safe, and will keep doing so.

It’s been a mixed bag for us – highs and lows included:

Tony’s brother Roger getting a job here and moving in with us while he house hunts.

I travelled to a Hokitika a couple of times to visit Penny and Alan, and enjoyed teaching at Left Bank Art Gallery in Greymouth.

Tony’s health deteriorated a lot, and he was in Base Hospital a few times. He decided he shouldn’t drive anymore so sold his car and got a nifty red mobility scooter. It’s been quite an adjustment but we’re getting there.

I got a total knee replacement in early November and the joint is a miracle. The tendons etc around it are still painful but gradually getting better. Of course, being me, I got addicted to the pain relief. My other knee should be done by April/May.

My job continues to bring me joy, as does my art. Losing Faith, then Inky, was hard for both of us, but Goldie remains as loud as ever. Whatever life throws at us, family and friends support us, and love remains. Here’s to 2021 and all it will bring.

Every year I join #olw – One Little Word with Ali Edwards. In 2020 my word was trust – you can read about why I chose it here. Did it work for me? For most areas of my life, yes. There are a couple of areas where I found it quite hard to trust, and that’s something I will continue to work on. Generally, I have a lot of trust that, if I am clear in my intentions, the universe will provide for me.

What’s my word for 2021? LIMIT. I was looking back at some old #olw lists on Ali’s site and saw this comment — “every limit is a beginning as well as an ending” and it was a total AHA! moment. As someone with a well-documented addictive personality, I see limits as a bad thing, stopping me from having what I want. It would be healthy for me to turn that around and see limits as being good for me; as the beginning of good choices and looking after myself.

For instance, following my recent knee replacement I’ve been struggling with addiction to codeine yet again. It would have been easier if I’d set a limit on the amount of codeine I took, right from day one, instead of having to wean myself off it again with all the accompanying withdrawal issues. Would I have managed to stick to a limit? Who knows – but it might have made me more aware and careful.

In 2021 I will try to set a healthy and achievable upper or lower limit on my:

V intake

food choices

exercise

use of pain medications, especially when I get my 2^ndnew knee

time on social media

doom-scrolling Covid-19 *rolls eyes*

time spent on work when I’m not actually at work!

I’m sure there’s a lot more areas of my life where putting a limit will be helpful, even if it’s just to raise my awareness. As always, I’ve made an index card piece of art of my word, and it’ll live on the wall above my desk at work as a constant reminder.

It’s been a long week. Tony’s ok enough, but it changes day to day. Today’s not been a good one. He’s slept much of the day and the cellulitis seems to be getting worse. The oral antibiotic is holding the infection at bay but that’s all.

We went to my work’s Christmas party for an hour last night. It was lovely for him to see people he knows and have a chat. Then we had dinner together at a local restaurant because he’d had enough people time.

I’m not blogging , or even updating Facebook, as much as normal. It’s partly that I’m not getting as much art time for all sorts of reasons, so don’t have as much to share. But I don’t want to be relentlessly negative and all too often there’s not a lot of positive news.

Except for this … my new knee is doing remarkably well. I’m well ahead of where the physio and surgeon expect for 4 weeks post-surgery. At home I don’t always use crutches, and at work etc I’m only using one crutch some of the time. I’m so very grateful for the surgery.