Through the years of looking after Tony my self care slipped a lot. I lost fitness and put on weight. Some people’s bodies cope fine with extra weight, unfortunately mine isn’t one of them. It’s four and a half months since Tony died. It feels like yesterday and forever at the same time … but what I do know is it’s time to take back control. Tony will be cheering me on.
I’ve bought a second hand elliptical for at home, rejoined the gym (a different one that offers better support) and gone back to a proper eating plan.
I’ve just had a three day weekend and spent it sorting stuff, getting used to the elliptical, and making an art journal that’s all about taking control and being capable – it’s an encouragement journal for me.
A lot has happened in the last month. I’ve been doing more in the #100TinyTreasures series and find it fascinating seeing what shapes and marks consistently represent the hand of the artist. I’ve been working in my art journals, including the new Dina Wakley Media ledger journal – absolutely love it, but they’re sold out already.
Sadly, the next shipment might be post-tariffs so may not be affordable. I feel bad for artists like Dina Wakley, Tim Holtz and Dyan Reaveley who have built a loyal following, through sheer hard work over many years, and will have their business impacted by the current US situation.
I had sold three small paintings to one collector on the East Coast and she asked if I’d make something bigger. I don’t do commission work as such but was happy to make some larger works – the three green pieces below – and if one suited her, great! They are based on the land around where she lives, which includes apple orchards. We tweaked the piece on the far right by adding 3 red apple shapes to the left and she messaged me that “The painting arrived and it’s BEAUTIFUL. I absolutely love it.”
I’ve also been getting ready for this year’s Greymouth Art in the Park. Pen Kirk and I have a stand and will be selling matted works, and greeting cards. Normally we’d teach as well, but Pen has a demanding new job and I’m not doing so well.
A couple of weeks ago someone came through a stop sign and hit my car at speed. I had a couple of seconds to react after I saw him go, and got as far out of the way as I could. Very similar to when a drunk driver hit me in 2012. Despite this being at a stop sign in a 50km area, he was going fast enough that both cars are written off. State Insurance paid out promptly, and I have a lovely new 2015 Mitsubishi Outlander plug in hybrid.
I also have a sore shoulder and concussion, which has turned out to be more of a problem than first suspected. I’m resting a lot, and have been working only half days. I have trouble sleeping at night, and get headaches. Still, it could have been a whole lot worse.
I’ve often started my year by participating in a paid class or worldwide project. It’s a great way to kickstart the art year. I’ve done the Documented Life Project & Creative Jump Start a number of times, along with ‘100 days of …’ and a few one-off classes. I haven’t done anything for about 4 years as Tony’s health, and some other changes, meant I just didn’t have the bandwidth.
Part way through last year I decided to commit to something for 2025 and tossed up between Wanderlust25 and Fodder School. I went with Wanderlust25, in the hope it might move me away from being brand/product driven in my art journals. It started a couple of weeks ago and yesterday I finally set up my journal and completed week 1 with Iris Fritschi-Cussens.
As with all paid classes I’ll share what I made, but not specifics around techniques and thinking. I’m delighted with this first spread – it already feels like I’ve gone back to 10 years ago when I was more process driven. You can see it below, along with details close-ups.
The writing is a reminder to myself that it’s ok to rest when I need to. My health is a bit dodgy yet I very much resist resting. Talking to my sister yesterday I realised it’s because Mum used to make me rest when she was tired and I wasn’t, so I see it as punishment!
I’m pretty open about the fact I have some physical problems, because it’s obvious if you spend much time with me anyway. I’m significantly weak in both arms and legs. Not “oh you need to get fit” weak, but what the neurosurgeon called “abnormally weak, spinal mumble blah blah blah”. I’ve also got remarkably poor balance. An MRI of my spine shows a decent sized lesion but we don’t think it’s doing anything. We decided not to investigate further unless things get worse etc.
My new helmet matches my bright pink bike
Recently I got approved for a Green Prescription, and a physical therapist is working with me. Our goal is to improve my balance. I recently bought a push bike and love it, but my balance is so bad I can’t let go to do a hand signal, which is a bit of a worry!
We also want to improve my strength. I can’t climb on a chair for instance – my legs won’t push me up, and my arms won’t drag me up. So I’ve got strength and balance exercises (for older people) and I’ve bought a balance board as well.
My balance has improved already, which is great. This weekend I’ll get out on my bike and see if it translates to real change. The strength exercises are more difficult and I suspect progress will be slower, but that’s ok. Any improvement is worth the effort.
Over the weekend I’ve been talking with Penny about food addiction again … it’s a complicated thing. An alcoholic can potentially avoid alcohol for the rest so their lives, a nicotine addict doesn’t have to smoke a cigarette ever again. A food addiction faces their addiction multiples time a day. Is it hard? Yes. Do we always succeed? No! But we’re not giving up either…
The other pain is my knee. I’ve got really good movement, and a scan on Friday showed there’s no clot in my calf. That’s great news, but does mean we still don’t know why it’s so tight and sore. Last night I slept with only one pillow knee to ankle instead of two. I slept ok but my hip’s been uncomfortable today. I think I can persist with just the one though and let the muscles adjust.
For me, with pain comes art. Actually, art comes with most things; pain, joy, sadness, anger, love and so on. This weekend I made a Teesha Moore inspired journal, starting with a large sheet of Fabriano Artistico paper that I cut, folded and stitched. Not quite my usual style, but a lot of fun.
Cath Sheard Art 