Cath Sheard Art

Tag: weight loss surgery

  • Practice makes progress

    People say practice makes perfect, but wonderful Australian artist Niamh Baly always says practice makes progress. And she’s right!

    I joined the gym about 6 weeks. My hope was to improve my balance and strength – having two total knee replacements and various medical dramas over the years has impacted on both.

    When I started I could manage 10 minutes on the CrossFit at Level 1 and use 3kg weights for leg and arm exercises. Today I did 17 minutes on the CrossFit at Level 2, 10 minutes on the Exercycle, 4 sets of 10 on the Leg Press and 3 sets of 10 leg exercises with 6 kg weights. I couldn’t find the 5kg ones and the 6kg were just too heavy for my arm exercises.

    By most people’s standards that’s not a lot, but it is good progress for me. I’ve got some goals in mind – one of them being just better general capacity. I’m so grateful for the difference my surgeries have made to my life.

  • What we reveal

    Next weekend Penny and I are holding an artist talk for the closing of our joint art exhibition at Left Bank Art Gallery in Greymouth. I’m flying down on Thursday to stay with Alan for a few days and do arty stuff with Penny.

    Last night Penny and I were talking about our prep for the event. She will have some bullet notes, and go from there. I’ll have every single word written out and won’t deviate from it much. It’s the same with our art, we have two very different processes and styles.

    Where we don’t differ is we’re not very good at talking about our emotions, and this collaboration has been a huge emotional journey for both of us. I need to talk about that as part of the closing of the exhibition.

    Does what I’ve written tell the whole truth? No, not really.

    I met with someone this morning who had weight loss surgery a couple of years after me. She’s doing well. We talked about what we eat, when we eat, why we eat. Sitting here though, thinking back to our coffee meeting, I know I edited my truths. Sorry SK; it’s that old weight monster – shame.

    Sandra has been grandkid and puppy sitting today, and the puppy fell asleep n me. I asked her to take a photo for me. I look at that photo and see the puppy, but also the weight I’ve put on in the last year and there it is – shame. I’m working on it – both the food choices and the emotions. In the meantime, I’ll keep editing what I reveal, protecting myself.

  • Art, pain, healing

    Over the weekend I’ve been talking with Penny about food addiction again … it’s a complicated thing. An alcoholic can potentially avoid alcohol for the rest so their lives, a nicotine addict doesn’t have to smoke a cigarette ever again. A food addiction faces their addiction multiples time a day. Is it hard? Yes. Do we always succeed? No! But we’re not giving up either…

    The other pain is my knee. I’ve got really good movement, and a scan on Friday showed there’s no clot in my calf. That’s great news, but does mean we still don’t know why it’s so tight and sore. Last night I slept with only one pillow knee to ankle instead of two. I slept ok but my hip’s been uncomfortable today. I think I can persist with just the one though and let the muscles adjust.

    For me, with pain comes art. Actually, art comes with most things; pain, joy, sadness, anger, love and so on. This weekend I made a Teesha Moore inspired journal, starting with a large sheet of Fabriano Artistico paper that I cut, folded and stitched. Not quite my usual style, but a lot of fun.

  • All roads lead to…

    Working from home is a busy time, everything takes a little longer and checking on staff wellbeing requires extra effort, but I also have a lot of time to think. I was in Auckland two weeks ago and visited two locations of interest so needed COVID tests at days 5 and 12 and had to totally self isolate. Both tests have come back negative and, after 14 days, I can do Level 4 like anyone else. Yay!

    Once I got the negative test result I went up town and dropped some stuff outside Tony’s ranch slider, then into Four Square to get a couple of things – hand sanitiser, mask and QR code of course. I saw some old friends while I was there, looking a bit overwhelmed. My instinct was to reach out to them. Yes, I’m one of “those” people; I’m a hugger. If someone is distressed I’m inclined to touch their hand or arm or, if I know them or have permission, give them a hug. Some of you might know “The 5 love languages” by Dr Gary Chapman. It’s no surprise my main love language is physical touch – it’s how I show love, concern and caring. Fortunately I’m sufficiently empathetic to recognise people who don’t want to be touched, and offer them support in other ways

    For someone like me physical distancing is difficult. (media tend to call it social distancing but it’s not – we can be social without being physically close). Watching people struggle with lockdown, and all that comes with it, makes me want to, quite literally, reach out. Not being able to stresses me. And it’s there the road circles back, as it always does…

    I’m a very addictive personality and my drug of choice is food, but I’ve also struggled with other addictions. Thank goodness I never tried drugs! Dr Gabor Mate believes the root of all addiction is a response to pain, and one of the primary triggers is maternal deprivation. Mum was 40 when they had me and very sick; I was a 2lb 13oz prem baby who stayed on in hospital after she came home. They lived an hour’s drive away and had a business to run – through no one’s fault I suffered maternal deprivation.

    When I had my consultation for weight loss surgery Dr Dhabuwala asked about my birth weight. At the time I thought it was an odd question, but he explained about the impact of infant formulas used in the 50s & 60s to quickly get prem babies up to a standard weight. I suspect he also knew about the research.

    Lockdown makes me want to hug people, and deprives me of the touch of others. My pain response is that of all addicts; I want to self-soothe with my drug of choice – food. And so the cycle continues. Thankfully 5 years on from weight loss surgery I understand so much more than I did then and can fight back. But it is a fight, and a tough one.

  • Lovely news, thanks Mum

    I am delighted that my niece Rosie and her husband Jason are the very proud parents of Harry James, born early yesterday morning 21 December 2019 by emergency C; weight 5lb and totally perfect. Rosie is fine too; thank goodness for good medical care which, in this case, was literally life-saving. I’ve talked about it before so won’t go into it again – but if you would like to support them on their difficult journey, being walked in love, you can donate here.

    I have done a page in my Dylusions journal about it because art helps me work through the feelings. Yesterday I cried. Tears of gratitude that Rosie survived a high-risk pregnancy. Tears of love for a baby who was at considerable risk. Tears of admiration for Jason, learning to be a Dad even as he learns to walk again following an accident that could have killed him. Tears of sadness for all the babies who couldn’t stay with me. Maybe even a few tears of jealousy at Rosie becoming a Mum when I never managed a live baby. (it’s ok Rosie – it’s me learning to feel, not eat as self-soothing)

    watching rosie 20191222