Cath Sheard Art

Blog

  • Addiction; myth vs reality

    We all know what addicts are like, right? We see them on tv, in the movies etc all the time. If you asked people what they know about addicts you might hear things like: they have bad teeth, they’re unemployable, they don’t look after themselves. Think again.

    I’ve talked before about the fact I have an addictive personality. It’s one of the things that lead to me having weight loss surgery, and being warned by the weight loss clinic’s psychologist to be careful about addiction transfer. A surprisingly high percentage of women who have weight loss surgery become alcoholics because they transfer from food to alcohol. For that reason, I don’t drink – I’ve had 3 weak alcoholic drinks in 4 years.

    I had a total knee replacement three weeks ago and it’s going well. The surgeon prescribed panadol and codeine and, when I went back for a check up, they increased the codeine dose because I’ve got bursitis in my hip due to walking differently now.

    I knew there was a risk of me becoming addicted to the codeine, as I’ve been addicted to pain relief before. So I’ve been careful, and watching myself. At 3am this morning I suddenly realised – yes, you guessed it – I’m addicted to the codeine. What am I going to do about it? Not much for now, except to make sure the amount I’m taking doesn’t increase.

    Once my knee is fully healed I’ll go cold turkey. It’s easier on your system to wean yourself off but I’d just lie to myself about how much I was still taking because that’s what we do as addicts – we lie to ourselves, and to others. We hide the wrappers, the receipts, the bottles…

    Why am I telling you this? Because as a society we need to be more honest about the costs of addiction, and change what we think we know about addicts. I’m re-reading “In the realm of hungry ghosts: close encounters with addiction” by Dr Gabor Mate. It’s not an easy read but it gets to the heart of addiction (emotional pain essentially) and has some useful advice for people like myself.

  • Progress

    I saw one of the registrars who works with Mr Pennington on Tuesday. They’re pleased with the wound, which no longer needs dressing, and the range of movement I’ve got. I asked if I should exercise just until it gets uncomfortable, or push through? Push through, but not to the point of tears. Ok then – onto it.

    Speaking of tears, since a few days post-surgery I’ve had excruciating pain in my hip. I’ve cried a lot – very unusual for me – and am only sleeping a couple of hours at a time. The Dr said it’s bursitis in my hip, brought on by the change in how I’m walking. Normally they’d consider a steroid injection but it would slow down my knee’s healing. If it’s still really bad when I go back in 4 weeks, they’ll relook at it.

    If I’m still progressing well at my 6 week appointment they assess me for the waiting list to get my left knee done. By May next year I could be the grateful owner of 2 two knees ❤

    I must be starting to feel a little bit better; I’ve been finishing off some art journal pages I’ve had lying around. When I can’t be bothered with any art, you know I’m feeling pretty bad! This journal is now so thick it’s hard to get straight scans – they’re not as wonky & unevenly spaced as they appear…

  • No kneeling – yet!

    My new knee is doing well. The joint itself is already less painful to walk on than my old damaged knee, and my leg is straight. Amazing!

    The same can’t be said of the bruising, which goes from mid thigh to ankle, round half my leg, and varies from yellow to reddish purple. Combined with significant swelling, it makes movement painful. However, there’s only one very itchy welt left now, so that’s progress.

    I had my first Physio appointment on Friday; Fiona was pleased with the range of movement I’ve got so far. I can bend it about 80 degrees, and she’d like me to aim for 90+ by the time I see her in a fortnight. I have 13 different exercises to do, and some of them are up to 3 sets of 10 twice a day – they feel like a fulltime job 😉

    All up I’m so pleased with how it’s going. There’s been a lot of painkillers, and a couple of weepy days, and some tears in the middle of the night – but I know it’s going to be so worth it.

  • Two steps forward

    I’ll try to keep this short but we all know I tend to write a book. After waiting 7 years I finally got my first total knee replacement last Thursday. We planned a spinal block instead of general anaesthetic as it’s their norm. I got very nervous about it but the Anaesthetist was excellent and said we couldn’t risk damaging my vocal cords any further. As it turned out, it was simple and painless.

    Surgery wasn’t till midday so Thursday was a write off. I woke up towards the end of the surgery; younger bones are harder to break and drill, so the surgery can take longer. I could hear the staff and feel the surgeon doing things, but without pain. I told the anaesthetist and he quickly put me under a general.

    Friday I got up and had a wash, the physios showed me some exercises and got me walking a few steps. One of my staff dropped off some V; bless you Katherine! Saturday I showered myself and started walking up and down the ward. Roger and Tony visited and I went for a walk with them. It wasn’t sore at all but was starting to itch a lot. A Dr had a look and said it seemed ok.

    Sunday I was able to walk right round the ward a couple of times, and the surgeon was pleased, but the itch was getting worse. As I was being released the nurse redressed it, as it had bled quite a lot, and we could see welts. Everyone decided I was allergic to the dressing. Sigh… Roger and my bestie of 52 years, Sandra, came and got me. Home, really mobile, but the itch 😑 They’d given me a script for Loratidine but the after hours pharmacies were all closed.

    On Monday Tony took me to Hawera to get the script filled. I’ll skip the details but, in trying to get the wound redressed, we saw two pharmacies, my Dr’s surgery, A&E and the new rural health project. They redressed it, after talking with the ortho team in New Plymouth. Late in the day I got a call asking me to go to Base this morning for the ortho team to check on it.

    I had a rough night, in tears a couple of times because the itch was so overwhelming. Again, I’ll skip the details but, after a rocky start, the nurse used her intuition and decided to pull the whole thing apart. Turns out I’m not allergic to the dressing, I’m allergic to the steri strips on the wound itself. When she took the steri strips off we found huge welts under them. The nurse and Dr were horrified – no wonder I was so itchy.

    I have a new PICO positive pressure bandage and a great deal less itching already. The surgeon had a look and is delighted with how straight my knee is so they’ll check it again next week. So, it’s been rocky, but essentially things are great as I’m already walking with less pain than pre-surgery.

  • Cute new journal

    I bought myself one of the small 6×6 Dina Wakley journals, which have lovely thick watercolour paper, and the new Art by Marlene Artsy Arabia paper elements. Love them! I’m having so much fun playing in this smaller format with the Dina Wakley gloss sprays, DWM acrylic paints, a few stencils and the paper elements.