Cath Sheard Art

Blog

  • Finishing an album

    I bought a small 6×6 Dina Wakley journal partway through the year. I love the thick white watercolour pages, and will certainly buy another at some stage. The smaller format is good to work in when time is short too. I’ve only got a couple of pages left in it, so thought I’d share what I’ve been doing.

  • Brief update

    It’s been a long week. Tony’s ok enough, but it changes day to day. Today’s not been a good one. He’s slept much of the day and the cellulitis seems to be getting worse. The oral antibiotic is holding the infection at bay but that’s all.

    We went to my work’s Christmas party for an hour last night. It was lovely for him to see people he knows and have a chat. Then we had dinner together at a local restaurant because he’d had enough people time.

    I’m not blogging , or even updating Facebook, as much as normal. It’s partly that I’m not getting as much art time for all sorts of reasons, so don’t have as much to share. But I don’t want to be relentlessly negative and all too often there’s not a lot of positive news.

    Except for this … my new knee is doing remarkably well. I’m well ahead of where the physio and surgeon expect for 4 weeks post-surgery. At home I don’t always use crutches, and at work etc I’m only using one crutch some of the time. I’m so very grateful for the surgery.

  • Addiction; myth vs reality

    We all know what addicts are like, right? We see them on tv, in the movies etc all the time. If you asked people what they know about addicts you might hear things like: they have bad teeth, they’re unemployable, they don’t look after themselves. Think again.

    I’ve talked before about the fact I have an addictive personality. It’s one of the things that lead to me having weight loss surgery, and being warned by the weight loss clinic’s psychologist to be careful about addiction transfer. A surprisingly high percentage of women who have weight loss surgery become alcoholics because they transfer from food to alcohol. For that reason, I don’t drink – I’ve had 3 weak alcoholic drinks in 4 years.

    I had a total knee replacement three weeks ago and it’s going well. The surgeon prescribed panadol and codeine and, when I went back for a check up, they increased the codeine dose because I’ve got bursitis in my hip due to walking differently now.

    I knew there was a risk of me becoming addicted to the codeine, as I’ve been addicted to pain relief before. So I’ve been careful, and watching myself. At 3am this morning I suddenly realised – yes, you guessed it – I’m addicted to the codeine. What am I going to do about it? Not much for now, except to make sure the amount I’m taking doesn’t increase.

    Once my knee is fully healed I’ll go cold turkey. It’s easier on your system to wean yourself off but I’d just lie to myself about how much I was still taking because that’s what we do as addicts – we lie to ourselves, and to others. We hide the wrappers, the receipts, the bottles…

    Why am I telling you this? Because as a society we need to be more honest about the costs of addiction, and change what we think we know about addicts. I’m re-reading “In the realm of hungry ghosts: close encounters with addiction” by Dr Gabor Mate. It’s not an easy read but it gets to the heart of addiction (emotional pain essentially) and has some useful advice for people like myself.

  • Progress

    I saw one of the registrars who works with Mr Pennington on Tuesday. They’re pleased with the wound, which no longer needs dressing, and the range of movement I’ve got. I asked if I should exercise just until it gets uncomfortable, or push through? Push through, but not to the point of tears. Ok then – onto it.

    Speaking of tears, since a few days post-surgery I’ve had excruciating pain in my hip. I’ve cried a lot – very unusual for me – and am only sleeping a couple of hours at a time. The Dr said it’s bursitis in my hip, brought on by the change in how I’m walking. Normally they’d consider a steroid injection but it would slow down my knee’s healing. If it’s still really bad when I go back in 4 weeks, they’ll relook at it.

    If I’m still progressing well at my 6 week appointment they assess me for the waiting list to get my left knee done. By May next year I could be the grateful owner of 2 two knees ❤

    I must be starting to feel a little bit better; I’ve been finishing off some art journal pages I’ve had lying around. When I can’t be bothered with any art, you know I’m feeling pretty bad! This journal is now so thick it’s hard to get straight scans – they’re not as wonky & unevenly spaced as they appear…

  • No kneeling – yet!

    My new knee is doing well. The joint itself is already less painful to walk on than my old damaged knee, and my leg is straight. Amazing!

    The same can’t be said of the bruising, which goes from mid thigh to ankle, round half my leg, and varies from yellow to reddish purple. Combined with significant swelling, it makes movement painful. However, there’s only one very itchy welt left now, so that’s progress.

    I had my first Physio appointment on Friday; Fiona was pleased with the range of movement I’ve got so far. I can bend it about 80 degrees, and she’d like me to aim for 90+ by the time I see her in a fortnight. I have 13 different exercises to do, and some of them are up to 3 sets of 10 twice a day – they feel like a fulltime job 😉

    All up I’m so pleased with how it’s going. There’s been a lot of painkillers, and a couple of weepy days, and some tears in the middle of the night – but I know it’s going to be so worth it.