Today is World Obesity Day. I have been obese – my BMI was 48. Normal weight range for my height is 62-70kg approx. On many charts I am still slightly overweight, and that’s ok.
Weight loss surgery saved my life, but it is not a cure. I am an addict and always will be. Some people would argue I am a “recovering addict” but I am not so sure. The struggle is real, daily, and hard. Bloody hard.
I have tools I can use, including my tiny stomach, and a host of psychological tips and tricks. The harsh reality, though, is my head craves the dopamine hit food gives me. Food is my best friend & comfort, and my solution to everything – shame, anger, boredom, tiredness and so on. Some days I won, some days I lose – some days I chose the dopamine hit.
A drug addict can survive the rest of their life without another fix, an alcoholic can avoid ever tasting alcohol again. I have to face my drug of choice – food – multiple times a day in order to survive.
Next time you see someone who is obese, please don’t judge them. They might be mortally ashamed (yes, fat shame kills us because we avoid the medical system). They might have already lost 1, 10 or 100kgs. They might be booked in for weight loss surgery or trying to fund it. They might have had surgery, regained the weight and are wondering if suicide is the only way out.
Obesity is not just about the food we put in our mouths. It’s about our society, childhood deprivation (especially of maternal love), environmental factors, poverty, and much more. Please don’t judge. Please do support.
This week’s #ColourMePositive quote came with a challenge to use black on the page and include a portrait of a cat you own or know; of course I used Goldie. She turns 14 shortly – we’re not sure exactly when she was born because we rescued her from the neighbours. Although, really, she rescued herself by leaving them and yelling in our front garden until we took pity on her. She’s been yelling ever since…
She’s incredibly healthy for her age, despite having dementia and skin cancer on her ears. She’s also missing a few teeth but it hasn’t affected her appetite!
There’s a story behind tonight’s page, but it’s not my story to tell. Just know I believe those that have gone before watch over us, ‘angels’ if you will. This weekend I am calling on my angel mother to watch over my family.
I was away last weekend and didn’t work in my art journals, but did get plenty of art time to work on more Hokitika Gorge paintings. But I miss the freedom that comes with an art journal, where the process matters more than the outcome. I’m not sure I’ve ever documented my process for a layout like this, so will try to capture it.
Before I do though, this is another song by HIM, with Ville Valo singing. HIM disbanded a while back and Ville has moved on, but I still love their music. The lyrics, often quite dark, really speak to me. Villa reads a lot, including poetry and classics, and his writing frequently includes references to religion and Edgar Allan Poe’s works.
This layout was done in my small Dylusions journal, which means there’s no need to gesso the pages as they’re really strong and colours generally don’t bleed through.
Using ink blender foams I put down Dylusions paints in Polished jade, Lemon Zest and Vibrant turquoise. Using the same colours and the ink blenders, I stencilled using Dylusions Teardrops, Squares and Diamond in the Rough – I use each colour, and each stencil, in all three sections.
Once that was dry I used Distress Collage Medium to glue down the magazine cut-out, leaving a medium strip of gel medium around it. Next, I blend a shadow in once the gel is dry, using a walnut Pitt Big Brush Pen to outline the collage. The slickness of the gel means you can blend out the pen, which is India Ink, if you work quickly.
I write out my words – often song lyrics or my thoughts – and print double spaced. I insert a line at the top of the Word doc so I know how wide each line can be and adjust my font size to fit; for the small journal 10.5cm works well for me. I roughly cut out each line and use a foam blender and Black soot Distress Ink to ink the edges to take away the harshness of the white paper.
I put them aside and use Archival ink in black to stamp the title with Dylusions Dy’s alphabet stamp set and Stamper’s Anonymous Tim Holtz Tall Text stamps. While the lettering is drying I use Tombow glue to adhere the text strips; I’m not too fussy about lining them up, spacing etc. Once they’re down and the stamping ink is dry, I use a broad tip white Signo pigment ink pen to add highlights to the stamped letters.
Cath Sheard Art 